The Fabulous Familiar

Taking the ordinary and making it extraordinary...

Friday, November 5, 2010

This I Know...

The class outline for the day may read: “Cover Chapters 4 and 5 from the text.” As soon as the teacher uses the segway, “Now on to Chapter 5,” I get out my blue notebook and draw a line through the number 4.


Because we are done with it. Because we said we were going to cover it. And we did.

If I am making out a to-do list, I often include items I did prior to making the list just so I can draw a line through it and feel a sense of accomplishment. While seeing “brush your teeth” on a piece of paper with a line through it may not seem impressive to you, it somehow provides me with some sort of satisfaction.

I set reminders on my phone reminding me to set reminders for later. I work from 8-12, eat a frozen meal from 12-1, take a nap from 1-2, workout from 2-3, go to my night job for the rest of the night. Every. Day.

In other words, I'm a girl with a plan. I'm a girl who doesn't like to get off track. I'm a girl who flips out if you stick me in an unfamiliar situation, with unfamiliar people when I wasn't expecting it ahead of time.

As many of you know, I had a pretty tentative plan for life post-graduation in December. I kind of had it in my head that things were going to be one way. Though I was a little unsure, it was a plan-- and I like plans. I like them a lot actually. I like being able to confidently tell people what's going down.

That plan was kind of tossed to the wind yesterday; it's like I was sitting there reading this e-mail full of words, but all I registered was, "Ashton, get a new plan." It's like the whistle blew on the basketball court and Coach Moon was yelling, "Zipper" when he had previously told me to run another play.

I think my disappointment lied more in the fact that I was left without a proper move on the chessboard of life than it was that I didn't get what I thought I wanted. God is whispering to me right now that sometimes not having a plan is better than having a plan just for the sake of saying you've got it all together.

It's kind of like saying, "Well, I brushed my teeth today. Check!" instead of waiting out something that's really worth crossing off.

I'm going to honestly admit that I don't have a real plan right now. I have no idea what's in store for me. But I just have to hold out and have faith that it is going to far exceed the crumbled up plan that's now in my trashcan.

Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." This is one of those verses that pricks the heart of self-admitting anti-spontaneous individuals like myself.

As is probably apparent by now, I don't know a whole lot. I can't predict the future. But it is time to focus on the things I DO know. I know my Heavenly Father's love; I know the earthly love I am blessed with every day by friends and family; I know the peace that comes with God closing a door so you don't have to.

I know that a beautiful spirit can't be broken by the likes of mere disappointment; I know that one day I will look back with a quaint, wrinkled smile and admit to my Creator that his Plan A couldn't have happened without the enactment of my Plan B.


Blogger Courtney said...

Having recently gone through the same kind of thing, I can say with confidence that you are so right: you WILL look back and see how everything was working together for God's plan for your life. Brandon and I are planners too, and a year ago, we thought we had everything figured out-- we thought Brandon was getting a certain job, we were going to stop traveling, we were putting our house on the market and were excited about starting a family. Then right around Thanksgiving we got an email telling us that Brandon wasn't getting the job after all. We were crushed, and spent the next 6 months "wandering in the desert" as we have joked, having no idea what God's plan was. But SO much good has come out of it. Had things worked out the way we planned, we would have missed out on so much... including God's plans for us to adopt. :) God's plan for us was WAY bigger than anything we had planned.

I'm excited to see what God has in store for you. :) Love and prayers.

November 5, 2010 at 9:56 AM  
Blogger Cole said...

Ashton writes: If I am making out a to-do list, I often include items I did prior to making the list just so I can draw a line through it and feel a sense of accomplishment.

Nicole replies: I do that too!! :D

(hope you liked my formatting... I did it just in case you were having DQ withdrawals!)

January 26, 2011 at 12:56 PM  

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