Fish out of Water

Instruct me to write a descriptive essay. No biggie. Make me write an article about a mission trip to Africa, and I can make you cry. Give me a deadline, an interview slot and lots of coffee-- and that column will be on your desk by 11 p.m.

Tell me I have to prepare an income statement for the current year for the Aloha Travel Service Company, and I will break into hives all over my body.

Ok, well maybe not literally. But reading an accounting book to me is right up there with getting a titanium implant in my tooth. I have done both, so I can adequately use that comparison.

Sometimes I question my decision to get my MBA. I honestly feel like I am a little girl who put on her mom's Sunday dress and heels that are 5 sizes too big and decided to play "business elite."

I am in these classrooms with people who are already in the business world; people who are already managers but are here to brush up on their managerial skills. I am a writer whose only other managerial experience involves corralling middle schoolers at church camp every summer. The only books I've ever kept were the books for the old men's softball leagues at the community center. After seeing too much of the catcher's backside for a whole summer, I readily decided to "say no to crack" and abandon Paul's Plumbers.

The other day I was asked to elaborate on how the accounting cycle at my business works; um, if deciding to buy the $5 laundry detergent instead of the $8 laundry detergent with the added Febreeze scent counts as a financial decision, count me in.

I study hard and know that--somehow--I will survive this. Sometimes I just wonder why I chose to put myself in a position that causes me to go into survival mode.

I want to write. I want to run a church camp for children. I want to love what I do and be happy in my own skin. I don't want to feel like a fish out of water; I want to dive in and thrive in my surroundings.

I suppose this is the cycle of life and is a must for every person leaving the college fishbowl.

...Sometimes you have to just land on the shore and flop around for a while before you figure things out.