Killer Queen

I have recently gotten into the Fox show "Glee." My love for musicals mixed with the unavoidable interest in teenage drama has placed this show directly on my doorstep. Though my brothers would probably hate a show where people can--at any time--break into song, I love it.

Why?

Because at any given time, a word or phrase by someone makes me want to burst into song. Giving in to social norm, I usually keep it to myself or hum softly, but nevertheless, the urge is still there.

This show gives teens the opportunity to burst into Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" after someone has talked about not being accepted for who they are. What's funny about that particular episode is that after the head cheerleader talked to a girl about how she was beautiful no matter what people say, I immediately began to sing that song to my friend who was with me. We later laughed that they broke into that song shortly after.

I got to thinking today. If my daily life were a musical, what would it be like? If every urge to sing didn't have to be restrained, what songs would follow me throughout my day?

Because each show usually focuses on one artist or genre of music, I have decided to do the same. Because most people--of all ages--are familiar with the band "Queen," I will use them to document my day today.

8:00 a.m. My alarm rings. I quickly hit the snooze button and roll over. After it goes off again, I groan loudly and get out of bed. I trudge into the living room, passing my roommates. My hair towers 3 feet high and my face is frozen into a disdainful look. "Good morning," someone musters up the courage to say. I grunt and move on to the bathroom. As soon as the door is closed, cue roommates to break into song: {She's a Killer Queeeeeen...Gunpowder, Gelatine, Dynamite with a laser beam...}

8:30 a.m. I go to put on my dress pants, only to find them a little tighter than usual. I probably shouldn't have eaten all that cookie dough last week. I start to tear up when I hear a voice from the sky calling down to me: {Oh won't you take me home tonight? Oh down beside that red firelight, Oh and you give it all you got, Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round, Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round} I suddenly begin to feel better about my situation and a smile lights my face as I squeeze into my pants.

8:45 a.m. I go to get in my car, and it won't start. As much as I try, the engine sputters and then comes to a complete stall. I am going to be so late for work. What should I do? It is at this time that I notice several people speeding by for their morning stroll on their bike. They sing to me in unison:
{Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle, bicycle, bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like}

8:55 a.m. I'll ride my bike, that's what I'll do. I get on my 10-speed and fly down Robbye Lane. The neighbors down the street, whose dogs chase my car every morning and evening, have once again let their pooches go on the prowl. I have had enough. Nothing is standing in my way to get to work on time. Cue music: Dun dun dun.

{Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust}

Do I feel slightly guilty about the havoc I have wreaked on my bike? A little. But maybe the dogs won't chase me anymore.

9:10 a.m. I am a little late to work, but that is to be expected with the morning I have had. My mind seems to be on other things while at work. So many decisions to be made; so many things on my heart. A co-worker asks, "Hey Ashton, are you OK? You seem a little out of it today." It is then that I stand up on my desk and declare:

{Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor girl(Poor girl)
I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go
Little high, little low
Any way the wind blows
Doesn't really matter to me, to me}

12:00 p.m. I head out on my lunch break and run into an old friend at the restaurant. When I ask her how things have been going, she informs me that she just got engaged and is getting married in a few months. I smile, congratulate her and then wait for the question: "What about you, Ash, do you have someone special in your life?" The guy behind the counter begins to provide the intro through his microphone and I soon answer her question in song:

{Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief, Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?}

The restaurant claps, and I sit back down and get back to quietly eating my meal.

4 p.m. I get off job number one and head over to job number two for the rest of the evening. I am tired, ready to just go home. I feel defeated. The pessimistic voice in the back of my head begins to chant:

{You got mud on your face
You big disgrace
Somebody better put you back in your place
We will, we will rock you
We will, we will rock you}

8 p.m. The last person has left the clinic for the evening and we begin to gather our things. After my rendition of "I Want to Break Free," one of the providers begins to sing, "We are the champions - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end..." Soon, we all grab hands, sway back and forth and sing in perfect harmony,

{We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cuz we are the champions - of the world!}

9:30 p.m. I turn on the Law and Order: SVU marathon and decide the world is at peace at that very moment. No one can get in the way of my happiness while watching Detective Stabler body slam criminals. Right before they catch the criminal, my satellite goes down. I am enraged:

{Don't stop me now, I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball don't stop me now
If you wanna have a good time just give me a call
Don't stop me now (cause I'm havin' a good time)
Don't stop me now (yes, I'm havin a good time)
I don't want to stop at all.}

10:45 p.m. I go to bed. I can't sleep with music on so the screen fades away into darkness.

Perhaps if ABBA's "Dancing Queen" wakes me up in the morning, I'll get off to a better start.